


Fuckin' Perfect

by psyduckappears



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Letter, Love, M/M, P!nk - Freeform, Perfect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7484520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyduckappears/pseuds/psyduckappears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Ronan and Adam are fighting because Adam (as usual) can't accept that he is worthy and Ronan tries to sketch his words for an apology because he doesn't want to make everything worse by chosing the wrong words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuckin' Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by P!nk's song 'Fuckin' perfect'! Listen to it because if you just listen to the lyrics you know it is about pynch lol

Dear Adam (?!)  
So, I'm pretty bad at this. You know this isn't exactly my style at all, writing letters and all this sentimental shit, but we're fighting again and it fucking sucks, okay? I mean, I'm most likely going to burn this piece of crap rather than giving it to you, but I guess I want to try. Actually, I'd like to say all this in personal to you but I'll screw up anyway, so at least let me structure what I want to say here before it's gonna come out wrong.  
  
Well, to get straight to the point, our fights are fucking idiotic. All I want is for you to understand, you know (Yes, I really suck at this)? You always feel like you're worthless - and don't you think for one damn second I don't know you're thinking that - when  actually you aren't. You're knowable and even more, you're loveable. Or whatever you want to call it. Fuck, I start sounding even more gay than I already am. Seriously though, just look at you and me.  
As you know just well, I'm making mistakes all the fucking time. I make stupid decisions, act without looking out for who I'm hurting, even if it's you, sometimes. I just can't help myself, but I know I'm an asshole. I'm awful, but I'm still here, right? I'm okay and on top of all (and I have no clue how I deserve it) I got you. So I'm a damned idiot, full of flaws and edges and corners and I might be one of the most screwed up people in this crap of a town, but I guess something made me this way and I just can't change everything about myself. And I guess, I'm kind of acceptable or why would you and the others still stick around? Anyhow, the point is that if you look at yourself compared to me, you're perfect. And even more the point is that you don't have to compare yourself to me to be damn perfect because you always are. I know you don't see it but I do.  
  
See, you're this smart, ambitious, lovely, caring and in anyway fucking  possible beautiful boy. I could take whatever positive adjective in the world and it wouldn't be enough. Like, I die when I look at your face. Did I ever tell you I love your freckles more than breathing? And don't get me started on your voice, your laughter... fuck it, I'm ranting. But the way you always want to do everything on your own - don't get me wrong, it annoys the shit out of me, can't you see I'm doing it because I love you, not pity you? - but somehow I still love it because it's part of your personality. And I love you. Like I also hate when you stay up all night because you want to study after a day of work because you look so tired and exhausted the next morning, so fucking sick. But I can't help myself adoring you in that moments because you still look beautiful and you're still concentrated and it just all shows how passionate you are about your dreams which is another thing I love about you.  
But do you know what I really fucking despise? The way you hate yourself. I hate that damn voice in your head that keeps telling you you were nothing because you are the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. And if there is someone who deserves everything good there is in the world, it is you (which is another reason why I wonder about the fact you stay with me).  
  
I just want you to see that all, Adam, that's really all I want. I don't want to fight about it - I don't want to fucking fight with you at all. If even I can fight off my demons and try to be better for you (and I'm trying, really), you can do that, too. Because you're flawless and all you need to do to accept that everyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot. The rich dicks at school (not Gansey, you know what I mean), your asshole of a father. We both know they're all stupid, mindless cunts. I just don't want anymore fighting and I don't want you to feel like you were anything less than perfect because you are fucking everything to me. When I am with you, it makes me forget all my troubles and I wish I could do the same to you because I know you never stop thinking about yours. I see how that affects you and fuck, it's killing me.  
I hope you aren't mad at me anymore because I want this all just to stop right now and I want to fucking kiss you until you suffocate.  Maybe I should give you this after all, I don't think I can say it anyway. If this gives you a heart attack because I've magically turned into a fucking softie, I'm sorry, won't happen again.  
Just don't forget that you're perfect, even if you can't see it most of the time. I do.  
  
Te amo.  
Ronan


End file.
